So did you vote for them?

Today I have washed away my tears and returned to the world bolstered by the wonderful messages of hope from MANA people around the motu. Messages that talk of not being defeated - reminders that whilst we have lost a place in the Westminster system, we never relied solely on that system to answer the issues facing our people. However, I must say things have changed in the world.
Years ago I lived with a degree of paranoia and rightfully so - the world hated people like myself - butch dykes. Much of my time was spent avoiding being bashed as I walked the angry streets of Wellington. This was achieved by being over cautious and extremely suspicious of people around me, predominantly straight men and women - actually most of the straight world in the 70's.

So as I stood waiting to order my coffee a loud group of older mostly conservative biddies pushed ahead of me and as I eyed them up and down I could feel their smugness ooze over me, their arrogance that said we certainly now own the world. I hissed loudly enough for them to hear that the war was not over and it might be best if they do not become accustomed to their sense of entitlement.

So my sorrow has been replaced by anger not of those who did not vote or of those who changed their vote at the 11th hour, nor actually of these righteous right-wing punitive racists. See I understand those who did not vote - I get their apathy - I was once apathetic.  I also get those who on election day changed their Party Vote once entering the polling booth - I did the same years ago when I could no longer fathom the direction of the Labour Party, but still voted for them because I was so afraid of a National lead country - fear cripples people.

No it is not them who I am angry at. It is everyone else who looks like they could have voted for change but did not. It is my parents who held such conservative views such anger for the right but ended up voting for them because they believed the country has lost that degree of discipline.  It is people like my parents who if still alive would have decided that whilst National aren’t the best of – they were lesser of two evils.   See my parents would argue that the left have sold out to the commies and the homo’s they would wrap their smarmy acts of charity in fundamentalism - their tokenism towards Māori would only go as far as those Māori who work hard and are not part of the great 'gravy train'. They would not have gone as far as voting for the conservatives as they were too far off but they would have voted national because as working class people they believe in the old discourse of hard work paying off.

So whilst the older brigade have got louder - ordering their cappuccino's and flat whites with far more gusto than should be allowed. The people I am suspicious of are all those who look like my parents you can tell who they are – they are walking around and not meeting the eyes of those they have imposed their punitive policies on. They attend church on Sunday's praying that when they enter the pearly gates the great unwashed (US) will not be present. After years of working hard and having achieved a sense of comfort and they have decided to hold tight to it - at all costs.
So this morning as I ventured out to have coffee at my favourite café, I felt the same nervous sense of suspicion. I felt my eyes roam across the faces of those who I grew up with the conservative working class and wondered 'did you vote for them then?"